Rebuilding your life: 5 Tips for weathering change

There comes a time for each of us when we face the task of rebuilding an adult life from the ground up. We might be changing a lot of things at once and struggle to take action and make decisions. Job loss, loss of a significant other, death of a family member, an empty nest, or a change in economic circumstances are some of the life experiences that  trigger the need to make multiple changes.There are also many wonderful life experiences where we start over: a new job in a new city, graduating from school, leaving military service, retiring from a long term job and changing marital or parental status. It is hard to remember when we are feeling settled and comfortable that this state is temporary and at some point will come to an end. When your old life falls apart, it is easy to feel lost, alone and confused. The trite saying, “The only way out is through” is particularly true in this case.

• Understand that all things come to the end of their usefulness and this is a normal, although demanding, experience.

• Rebuilding gives you a chance to make things a better fit for you than the old ways.

• Even good changes come with the experience of loss.

• Identify what helped you sustain yourself in the past challenges you have faced: Nature, friends, creative endeavors, spiritual beliefs, support groups, reminding yourself of your strengths and talents, seeking knowledge. Use what helped you in the past.

• Take your time and move slowly when making major life decisions. Take it one day at a time and let it evolve. Rash and impulsive choices to try to get this period of life over with are usually regretted in the future. Every choice has both a down side and an up side. Identify both before you move ahead.

The need to rebuild our lives will confront us at a number of times in our adult lives and is part of the nature of how we live in the modern world. These transitions can be distressing, challenging, and rewarding times in our lives and we may need to ask for support to keep depression and anxiety from overwhelming us. When you find yourself at this point, ask for help. By the time we hit 40, most of us have had to face disappointments and surprises in what we thought our lives would be like.  We have to start over when the old ways no longer work for us.  If you need support to go through a period of change and transition and  are concerned about the impact of your emotional response to change on your life and would like a consultation, please feel free to  contact me.