Rebuilding your life: 5 Tips for weathering change

There comes a time for each of us when we face the task of rebuilding an adult life from the ground up. It may be that losses are occurring in proximity to each other. Job loss, loss of a significant other, death of a family member, the emptying of the nest, or a change in economic circumstances are some the loss experiences that create the impetus to rebuild our lives. There are also many wonderful life experiences where we have to start over: a new job in a new city, graduating from school, leaving military service, retiring from a long term job and changing marital or parental status. It is hard to remember when we are feeling settled and comfortable that this state is temporary and at some point will come to an end. When the old life falls apart, it is easy to feel lost, alone and confused. The trite saying, “The only way out is through” is particularly true in this case.


Rebuilding Your Life


  • Understand that all things come to the end of their usefulness and this is a normal, although demanding, experience.


  • Rebuilding gives you a chance to make things a better fit for you than the old ways.


  • Even good changes come with the experience of loss.


  • Identify what helped you sustain yourself in the past challenges you have faced: Nature, friends, creative endeavors, spiritual beliefs, support groups, reminding yourself of your strengths and talents, seeking knowledge. Use what helped you in the past.


  • Take your time and move slowly when making major life decisions. Take it one day at a time and let it evolve. Rash and impulsive choices to try to get this period of life over with are usually regretted in the future. Every choice has both a down side and an up side. Identify both before you move ahead.

The need to rebuild our lives will confront us at a number of times in our adult lives and is part of the nature of how we live in the modern world. These transitions are distressing, challenging, and rewarding times in our lives and we need all the support we can get to keep depression and anxiety from overwhelming us. When you find yourself at this point, don’t be afraid to ask for help. By the time we hit 40, most of us have had to face some disappointment in what we thought our lives would be and many of us have had to start over as our old lives fell apart. If you need support to go through a period of change and transition, If you are concerned about the impact of your profession on your life and would like a consultation, please feel free to  contact me.