Why Women Want to Ignore Their Money

Well Suze O’s theory is that women are so busy nurturing others that they have little left over to care for themselves. That is true some of the time. But there are also lots of young single women who do have enough time and energy but do not spend it on learning about money managment.

Where does the resistance come from? I think from my own analysis that many women are willing to trade competence for the feeling of “being taken care of” and loved by having their money managed by someone else…and if no one else is there to do it, they would prefer not to be reminded of that. This is one of the last hallmarks of “feminine privilege”..that we will worry about everything and take on every task except the money…..and turning it over reminds us that we don’t have to do it all. We feel loved and cared about in this way and that feeling is just too pleasurable to question too much. Many times it doesn’t matter to us to whom we have turned it over..to a partner, a parent, a professional…as long as we do not have to worry about it. If you examine it, most adults at some level have dependent longings..it looks so easy and inviting. Men long just as much as women to “be taken care of” but they have less permission to enact it.

The difficulty with this option is that we are exchanging genuine adulthood for dependent pleasure and along with that we also sacrifice self-esteem, power and control over our lives. Money is like oxygen in contemporary society…it sustains and supports your life by buying you food, shelter, medicine, transportation,recreation, utilities, social connection in the form of phones, etc. It is too important to turn it over and risk that you may end up without enough to sustain your life through to it’s natural conclusion. It also takes 2 adult partners working in sync with each other to learn all the skills necessary to make the complex decisions they need to make about their resources and their life paths.