MASTERY: It is important to feel like a productive and competent person who has something to contribute in life. Having a talent or working hard to develop a skill brings a feeling of mastery that increases our good feelings about ourselves. When our abilities are noticed and appreciated by others, we feel even better. Watch a child who is working hard to learn to tie a shoe or throw a ball and then notice the excitement this child has when he or she accomplishes this. As adults we know how it feels to have and utilize a skill. We can forget how vulnerable we feel when we put ourselves in situations of trying to learn a new skill and we can also forget how rewarding and satisfying it is to master the skill and feel a renewed sense of competence.

AUTONOMY: Most of us also need to feel as though we are doing things of our own free will and by choice. There is a significant increase in happiness when a country increases civil liberties for its population. As humans, we want to feel free and self-sufficient. Autonomy means that we have a sense of choosing our lives and activities and doing things are meaningful to us. No one likes to feel controlled and even when we are performing assigned tasks in our work life or our home life, we can feel that we are doing these things because we have chosen them for the inner and outer rewards they bring us. In the movie “Invictus”, Nelson Mandela maintained his sense of freedom by reciting a poem with the following lines: I am the master of my fate:I am the captain of my soul.

CONNECTION: Because we are humans, we are basically social animals. Feeling connected to others is essential to our survival and well-being. When we are disconnected,lonely or feel alienated from others, we are unhappy. Human infants must have physical and emotional contact or they die of “failure to thrive.” It is easy to forget how important and fundamental connection is to our well-being if we are caught up in the belief that we should be able to do everything without depending on others.

SECURITY: A feeling of security comes when we feel we have enough resources to meet our needs. The increase in happiness that comes when one is lifted out of poverty is enormous. We cannot be happy when we feel our day to day survival needs might not be met. Why then can we feel insecure when we do have resources? Past traumas of not having enough or worries that we will lose what we do have can undermine our feelings of happiness and well-being. We need to understand how much is “enough” and what is truly secure and not secure in our worlds.

Psychologists are finally beginning to study and do research on the experience of happiness. Happiness is defined as a feeling of “subjective well-being”, meaning that only we can decide if we are happy or not and that it will change from person to person. Most people would include in their definition of happiness being able to experience a number of positive emotions like joy, affection, contentment, hope, and gratitude. Is it possible to be too happy?

Yes it does seem that it is not good to be too happy. When the happiness scores of thousands of people from 1 to 10 were tabulated and followed over time, those who rated themselves about an 8 on the scale had better life outcomes that those who said they we 10 on the happiness scale. Chronic euphoria is not the best outcome. Negative emotions do serve a real purpose in life, especially in moderate doses. Occasional guilt,worry, anger and sadness are necessary to help us know what we need to change to improve our lives. Without them, the people in the studies seem to drift.

Another important aspect of happiness is a measure called life satisfaction. For most of us, life satisfaction depends on doing well in areas that are important to us….relationships, health, work, leisure, spirituality and income. We are operating in sync with our values and our goals. There is another factor in happiness that is called “flourishing”. This is the assessment that our lives have meaning and purpose, that we are good people, that we get the social support we need , that our everyday lives are interesting and that we have an absence of addictions.

The formula developed by Dr. Ed Diener, one of the foremost happiness researchers in psychology is as follow: Happiness = positive feelings minus negative feelings + life satisfaction + flourishing. If you are interested in learning more about the research on happiness, you may want to read Dr. Diener’s book, Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth.