When you have suffered a large loss, you will begin to undergo a process that can be described as a normal grief reaction. Grief is poorly understood in our society and is often not tolerated for long periods of time. The more you are able to allow yourself a normal grief reaction, the less likely you are to have prolonged or complicated grief reactions or sink into a depression. Many people confuse depression and grief because of the overlap of symptoms like fatigue or loss of pleasure in life. One way to distinguish the two is to notice that grief is “working” through and...

Whenever a successful man takes his own life, it comes as a shock to all who saw him as a success. Men who are deemed to be accomplished in life are seen as having it all. There is little room left for that man to have feelings that don’t fit the outward picture. Far too many men are suppressing feelings and needs that are simply human. It is easy for an accomplished man to feel as though he exists primarily to care for others and to deny as long as possible that he himself is in trouble emotionally.
Research on socialization of emotions, much of it done at Emory University,...

There comes a time for each of us when we face the task of rebuilding an adult life from the ground up. It may be that losses are occurring in proximity to each other. Job loss, loss of a significant other, death of a family member, the emptying of the nest, or a change in economic circumstances are some the loss experiences that create the impetus to rebuild our lives. There are also many wonderful life experiences where we have to start over: a new job in a new city, graduating from school, leaving military service,retiring from a long term job and changing marital or parental status. It...

It is hard to have an open, contained conversation about money that includes emotions and does not end up in a difficult interaction. This is a learned skill for most of us. It is even harder to have an open and contained discussion about money and death. Whether you want to know what is in your parents’ estates and how they plan to distribute or you want to deal with your own estate issues with your grown children, people in general are reluctant to address these topics.

The adults who are hesitant to ask information of their parents are afraid of being seen as greedy,...

Many people will engage in a period of self-help before they will consider calling for a therapy appointment.
Sometimes self-help works well and sometimes it is actually harmful. The current estimate is that about 5% of people who engage in self-help endeavors end up being harmed by them. The greatest harm is done because of the following:

1. Unrealistic expectations that do not function as promised. The best-seller “The Secret” could easily encourage someone to believe that all you have to do is visualize and it will come true. A positive vision is necessary but...

There are a number of important stages and steps to go through in the process of divorce recovery. It is important to be proactive and effortful in this process…many of those who drift through hoping that time alone will be their healer may end up in the percentage of divorcees who do not really grow or enhance their lives with this painful experience. To feel the failure of your marriage and determine that you will learn and benefit from this experience means that you will be less likely to repeat it down the road. It is estimated that about 30% of partners who dissolve a family with...